And Time Revealed

Time... time signifies a lot in our lives. We need time to make sure we won't be late for work. We need time to do our chores. We need time to think. We need time to heal our broken hearts. We need time to reveal our deepest secrets. We need time to reveal our feelings. I thought I have beaten time, when I tried to keep things to myself for a long long time. Until one day time itself made it's move to make me reveal my deepest secret. It was a horrible feeling when you know you wanted to say it out loud, but you can't. You wanted to shout it out where everybody will hear you and would know what really is inside you, but you can't. Then one day, you just slipped with a couple of words and you had to explain yourself to make things clear. And there you are.. you have revealed your secret.

For eleven years I have kept it hidden within me. That I am in love with you. I have always been in love with you. I have kept you in my heart and I intend to keep you still. Who would not fall for you? You are the most kind and sweetest guy I have ever met. I will always remember how you always made sure I was okay. You would never forget to drop by my classroom to say hello and ask how my day was. You bought me a big bar of chocolate even when you knew I could never finish even a small bar. You were never bothered joining me and my friends when you never used to mingle with girls before.

Eleven years have passed, but all these are still so vivid in my memory. I can remember every detail. And I do miss the past, sometimes I miss it so much that I would just lay on my bed at night thinking about it all night long. Smiling and thinking as if I was there in the flesh. I miss you're being grumpy when things don't go your way. I miss when you're telling me off about something. I miss singing with you under the mango tree. I miss our little talks, even if the topic was very immature. I miss the times when we listen to our favourite oldies music. Or when you hooked me on a particular radio station. I miss the times when we would talk over the phone for hours. That sometimes we run out of conversation but we still listen to each other, and then laugh. I miss the times when we would just sit side by side, saying nothing, just sat their together quietly. hmmm it was more comforting than talking. What I miss most was when all your time and attention was mine and mine alone.

I have revealed my deepest secret just not so long ago. You have no idea how scared I was. As I was not sure how you would take it. For one reason why I kept it is because it might make you leave me. Like I told you, I have accepted the fact that things will never be different for us. I have never dreamed to be your girlfriend. All I want is to be a part of your life forever. And I can be a part of your life forever by being your bestfriend. Losing you all together is my greatest fear. And I was so scared that this will happen after I revealed everything. But you understood how I felt and promised that you will stay with me no matter what happend. Thanking you for keeping me is not enough. I assure you I will always be here. I will always be your bestfriend. I will always be your comfort zone.

Things have changed time had passed. You and I are now both grown ups and have been through a lot of challenges in this life. There was a time when you and I have not talked for months or even years. But after all this time and all this changes that had happend. There are some things that never changed. Our friendship. And my love for you. You and I will always be a part of each other's lives for a lifetime. Hmmmm a lifetime is way too short for me. Let's make it beyond a lifetime.

Now I guess all i wanted to say is thank you for being such a blessing in my life. For being so kind and sweet. For being my very best friend. I love you.. I will always will.. I am looking forward growing old with you.... and whoever our partners in life will be...