Broken Pieces

Awaken by a scream, shivering in the cold night… Could not see anybody in sight.. Feeling all alone.. feeling so sad and blue.. looking outside the window.. i can see some fireworks…hmmm it’s a new year i suppose… but why am i so alone.. why am i so sad.. who do i long for? i don’t really know.. is it him.. is it really him? or is it you? why do i still feel this way? i thought i have already turned my back on the past.. hmmm i thought my strength will last.. am i missing you? is that why tears are falling from my eyes right now? or do i feel angry… to who i am not that certain… is it to myself? to you? to her? i wish i have the answers.. my head is spinning.. so many why’s and how’s.. one thing i want to know is.. how can i stop the pain… pain that strikes me whenever i see your face… your smile.. that once i thought was for me… the sparkle in your eyes that once i thought was because of me.. how? tell me how? i have tried so hard to deal with this pain.. but i still lost..it was too strong.. that at times i do feel like im being crumpled into pieces.. will i ever be whole again?